Heist

qualifying as easily the stupidest genius idea ive had in ages, let me tell you a story.

my wheelie desk chair in my dorm room has been broken for almost a month now, and all the while sitting on this now wobbly stool without a backrest- Ive been scheming a way to get a new one.

it was only recently, while i was chillen with Murray in the concourse, did the most genius idea fall into my head. we were going to heist a desk chair from the concourse computer lab. to be returned at the end of the year of course, i just need it for my res room in little house.

so we got to scheming.

Murray, paranoid about the camera's, persisted to me to come up with a clever plan to evade capture, so that is exactly what we did. we would set in place an alibi in case of capture as a reason for why we were "borrowing" laurier's ITS property. we planned an entire rigamarole in which i would convincingly fake an ankle injury conveniently directly in front of the surveillance camera in the SBE building. the next step to this ploy was to hobble (with murray's assistance) down the hall, until it would appear that i can go no further, this happens, conveniently right outside the computer lab. murry from there would wheel me out on one of these chairs, and we would bring it home scotch-free.

with what appeared to be a flawless plan i know what your thinking. how could any of this possibly not work.

well the injury plot was executed to perfection and we were making our way out the building- myself talking about how great of a plan this was, and Murray telling me how unlikely this was going to work, and how bad of an idea this was. he did however, credit our level of preparation, and effort. by the time we got out the doors, i was slightly annoyed by his paranoia. he did have a point that the four obviously wheel tracks in the snow was kind of suspect. but when he told me there was cops. I got fed up and turned (actually swivelled) around to tell him to relax.... WEEEOOOOOW. (siren noise) And thats when the cops showed up. So this is where our hoodwink really takes off. i gave my ankle a quick Indian burn (for effect), and the officers got out of the squad car. "can we help you boys?"

no officers actually... This is where we described the flim-flam plan we prepared as our alibi.

hook, line and sinker, the officer took bought it and were actually quite helpful offering to drive us straight to our door. its cold out so why the heck not. i insisted that i would be ok on my own, i hopped inside and we finally burst with laughter. dodged a close one there. but with not real malicious intent, i would qualify that as a good night.

its just a shame that still im writing this sitting on a wobbly busted excuse of a chair.

lessons learned: when i said: "Murray chill! its not like there's i guy sitting in a room looking at dozens of screens monitoring the campus. this isn't the movies"

well i learned there is that person, and that room, and those dozens of monitors. more importantly i learned that he or she is very good at their job.

lesson #2 learned: just pay $80 dollars and buy a chair you can own you dummy.

lesson #3 learned: if an idea your claiming is a great, can also be considered a scheme, hoodwink, gambit or heist. its probably not great. its probably stupid.